I knew I was lucky to make it to the final 15 after Uncle Jim Zorn's ludicrous play call that likely took 3 points off the board for the skins and gave me another 2 points via an easy interception. I'm not a very religious man, and I don't believe in astrology and allot of supernatural type shit, but I thought I was meant to go to Vegas and make some noise in this bad boy. Maybe it was because I was one of only two people who legitimately qualified for the referral bracket only to see the bracket get canceled. It felt like I was still owed a trip to Vegas. I was laying down with my 4 month old Alex on Christmas Eve when I envisioned what I thought would happen on my trip to Vegas and how I would finish in the top15. I knew I had a strong line-up, and I thought I could make a hard charge at the title. My wife came home and I told her I think we are going to make a run, and finish in 2nd by 5 points. She said she would take it, and I agreed.
Christmas evening, my 4 year old was busy playing with his new toys so I decided to use the semi-quiet time to do a final review of my line-ups for my 14 teams that were still up for prizes. My biggest decision for my Vegas team was my flex: Garrard @ NE, Bradshaw vs. CAR, or LT @ TEN kicking off in about an hour. I play a QB at my flex 95% of the time, but I didn’t like Garrard’s match-up and I felt like I already squeezed the best game I could out of him the prior week. I had a FF round table luncheon with a few of the guys at work, and the consensus was to flex Bradshaw. The most experienced of my FF work crew disagreed and told me to play LT. That stuck in my mind all week. Brasdshaw had looked electric the past few games had a huge game the week before. I felt like he had a higher ceiling than LT. I knew LT should be good for 60 yds and a TD, but Bradshaw could throw up 150 total yards, & 2 TDs. I went back & forth all week. LT has been solid but didn’t rush for 100 yards all season. He came close against Philly (96 yds, 2 TDs) early in the season, but I knew he was extra motivated for that game because his wife (LaPosrsha, hehe) had left him a note in his locker telling him they were going to have their first child.
I put on the NFL Network to check out the pre-game and the first thing I hear is that the Chargers are surprisingly getting their pro-bowl caliber center back. My decision just got tougher. I actually said out loud ‘I’m not changing my line-up, I can’t do it, I know if I put LT in Bradshaw will go off’. SD has some tall WR’s and I know they like to throw jump balls, and they get allot of pass interference calls that puts them 1st and goal from the one. That’s LT country. I was headed to my Aunt Debbie’s house for Christmas and Aunt Debbie was at my house rooting me on before when I won a nice chunk of change so I had a feeling LT was going to do something special for me Christmas night. I cursed myself and put LT in as my RB2. I knew I was going to play Beenie, so I left my flex open in case something happened to Beenie and I had to flex Garrard. I started to get real excited as SD marched down the field and LT put in the game’s 1st TD. If TEN could have made it more of a game, LT would have played more and he could have scored 4 TDs. It made my stomach turn watching Sproles, Jacob Hester and the other scrubs they had running late in that game. I was happy that LT scored 18 for me, it looked like he was going to outscore Chris Johnson, which would have been huge for me. I packed up the car to head home and put the game on. The 1st thing I hear is Chris Johnson ripping off a 30 yd TD. Shit, I should have stayed in my Aunt’s house. I still felt good getting 18 out of my RB2. Playing LT ended up being a $95k decision, as Bradshaw was good for 4.6 points. That would have had me finish in 5th place,and I wouldn’t have won the August bracket. I went to bed Christmas night feeling confident and ready to rumble. That confidence changed a bit on my way to the airport.
It seems like every time I go to Vegas something happens. Last time, some knucklehead uncorked a dirty bomb at a hotel right when we got to town. My wife called me on the way to the airport and told me “Keep your eyes open, some terrorist just tried blowing up a plane going to Detroit”.
Thanks baby.
My dad who was driving me didn’t help as he gave me a blow for blow tour of some of the recent mishaps around Midway airport. “Here’s where a tire came off a plane and killed a family in a car.” “Oh wait, that happened on the other side, this is where a plane missed the runway and landed on a house.” Make sure you smell the pilot’s breath, you heard about those drunk pilots right?”
Thanks dad.
It was good to see not to much else was going on. It’s not like the Pope was attacked at midnight mass or anything.
Now on the plane, I do the same thing everyone else has done since 9/11. I check out every passenger, roll through all the awful stereotypes and think about which passengers I might have to put in a sleeper hold at some point. The plane is getting full, so people are forced to start taking the middle seats. I just hope someone weird doesn’t sit next to me. So here comes an older looking weirdo, dressed entirely in black. He looked like a bond villain, a genius with devious intentions. He sits down, takes out his highlighter and his light reading material; The Demonic Turn: The Power of Religion to Inspire or Restrain Violence. Fantastic, it looks like I’ll need a drink or 4 on the flight. Dr. Evil doesn’t cause any problems, sans berating the flight attendant over something about the tea he ordered.
I wasn’t feeling the Bellagio.
I know the Bellagio is a premier joint, but I don’t think it’s a good host hotel for the event. I know Stan is a fan, he has all kinds of action going on there, but I’m more of a middle of the road kind of guy. I think the majority of the guys probably feel the same way. The drink service sucks, and the high table limits had some of the boys going elsewhere to splash some chips. Love me some MGM. I didn’t have any problems checking in, and decided to take a bath and get a nap in before what could be a long night. I check the boards and saw that Scotty and Zebb are already on the loose. I don’t know much about Scotty besides his foster care issues, but Zebb seemed like a guy I want to bend elbows with. I lay down to take a nap and right as I’m falling to sleep, ‘Housekeeping’. What the fuck, it’s like 6:00 PM, housekeeping at 6? I get up all hazy to tell her to leave me alone and then she offers me chocolates for my trouble. “I don’t want chocolate, I want sleep”. I got my nap in, threw on my Sweetness jersey and headed to the blackjack tables to make a donation. 20 minutes later I noticed the Bellagio draft was getting ready to go down. I was curious to see where my guys were going to get drafted. It felt great to see the room all decked out with the screens & sofas. I sat in the back and enjoyed a cocktail as the guys drafted. Zebb tried to get the other guys to stall so he could go grab a vodka redbull. I felt his pain so I went to some high class bar (Privia?) to hook him up. I asked the bartender if he had Raspberry Stoli, and asked for two with redbull. He looked at me and said “Have you ever been here before? Our drinks start at $20, and it’s an extra $8 for redbull”. I told him it was nice to meet him, thanks but no thanks, and I’ll never see him again. I found them for ½ the price about 50 feet away at one of the other bars.
Back at the draft a few of the other final 15 made their way in. I was really rooting for the father and son team of Ron & Ryan, they are both knowledgeable, good guys. It’s quite the accomplishment getting 2 teams through the meat-grinder that is the ffoc play-offs. I hope I can share my passion for football and fantasy football with my sons. The Bellagio draft was complete and I had Scott W’s team as the favorite. Still feeling bad he narrowly missed the top15, I wanted to try to lift his spirits a bit. We went for drinks next at the bar next to the sportsbook and Stan was gracious enough to get us all some champagne. I had a great time meeting all the guys and talking shop. Aaron is every bit as funny in real life as he is in his blog, and on the boards. I had an interesting discussion with Jeff (rapiddraft team) about his contest. I was a guess expert and dissected the Redskins in the pre-season on his radio show. Some guy called in after my analysis and expressed how he thought I was wrong and how Jason Cambell would have a good season. Jason Campbell and his O-line having a miserable night on MNF was a big factor in getting me to Vegas. Love me some irony. Scott W. really knows his onions, so I ran who I liked on the big board by him. Unfortunately, JAX + 10 didn’t get it done for me. Zebb wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him returning the favor and buying me a drink. So I had my drink, champagne, a drink from Zebb, and I got a shot from somewhere. So I’m half in the bag when I realize I shouldn’t be telling the guys I’m competing against to not start
Reggie Wayne against Reevis. The bartender looked exactly like Kramer from Seinfeld, and Stan told me he was a Chicago guy so I knew the party was on. The party was really on when Steven King sat down at the bar to play video poker and use a bunch of drunken FF nerds for inspiration for his next horror novel.
Running out of drinks I staggered through the casino to go back up to the room to make some homemade drinks. I saw last year’s champ Shane playing black-jack so I thought I would see if I could steal a little of his million dollar magic to carry with me for the event. I think we both hit on the 1st few hands then the dealer started hitting 21s after showing a 5 or 6, so I knew it was time to roll. Hey, Blackberry Smirnov & Citrus Vitamin Waters aren’t so bad when you’re drunk. I think Ron saw everyone getting loose and decided it was a good time to bust out his fair and balanced final 15 revised pay-out table. I was all about it, and I think a few of the other guys were on board as well, but a few of the clubhouse leaders weren’t there to agree. I know one of the final 15 turned it down, because he had his eye on the million. I think we did another shot with Kramer, and I was starting to have a hard time standing so I talked some of the guys into hitting the poker room.
Stan was willing to take Zebb and his chips under his wing and teach him how to play. I played for about an hour at a different table before I moseyed on over to see how the Stan & Zebb tag-team was going. Cory from fanball came over with me, so we had 4 guys from the same group at the table. Usually, poker players don’t like 4 guys who know each other playing at the same table, but I think these guys were smart enough to know we were too loaded to be running any kind of game. They welcomed us and our chips with open arms. The drinks continued to flow and I had a great time playing poker with all the guys, talking football and all kinds of other shit. I was giving them updates on Lady Juggernaut’s travel plans through-out the evening and early morning. It’s 5AM Chicago time, she’s waking up. It’s 6:30 AM, she’s at the airport, etc. Zebb offered to pick her up from the airport, but I don’t think he had a car, so I still don’t know what his plan was.
With one eye closed and my other eye flickering due to alcohol poisoning I recognized a familiar face in the distance. I recognized our new hold em dealer from somewhere. I made out a few of the letters on his name tag and saw that he was from Chicago or Ohio. I looked at him and blurted out ‘Hey, did you go to Taft (my high school) dude?” “Yeah, I thought you looked familiar.” It turns out he not only went to high school, but was also in my graduating class. We had 2nd period science together. Stan saw the magic happening, reached into his bag of tricks and handed my boy Mike G a media pass for the event. Now, I really felt like I had The Force on my side. I zigzagged towards my room and texted Lady Juggernaut that I had the Force. She showed the couple on the plane next to her and they laughed at how drunk I was at 8:00 in the morning talking about how I had The Force. I had about 3 hours to get some sleep before game time, maybe ½ hour before my next oddball house-keeping / chocolate offering. I had to get some rest before kick-off.
Part II: Are You Ready For Some Football?
Notice how Steven King was trying to hide his face from the drunkarazzi.
I woke up feeling like I got hit by a train and as my body was flying through the air I was hit by another train. I grabbed my laptop and headed to the event room to go to work. I had a hard time with the 6 digit wifi security code (still drunk, I messed up the code) and made it back to my room with 5 minutes to make any last minute adjustments. The wife just arrived so I went down to get her. I come back up to the room, put on ESPN and the first score I see is a TD from my man Roddy White. Knowing nobody else in the final 15 had Roddy, I knew I was off to a nice start. I was shocked to see Stan and Cory running around downstairs, they were still playing poker a few hours ago when I left. These guys are pros, in more ways than one. The wife and I had lunch in the room and I came back down to the event room to watch the afternoon games. The early games worked out great. Most of the studs like Brees, Rodgers, etc didn’t do much, and a lot of late season bloomers had big games. I loved seeing Ahman Green getting him some Lambeau Leap.
Afternoon Games
I think I was in 10th or 11th place when the afternoon games started. The field was bunched, and most of my guys hadn’t played yet. The DEN @ PHI game was crucial to the program. I had McNabb & DeSean, and Marshall going. I didn’t like Marshall’s match-up vs. Asanti, but I thought PHI would get up early and DEN would be forced to throw. They do some creative stuff with Marshall, so there’s always a good chance for some decent YAC and a score or two. My eyes lit up when I heard it was unseasonably warm with good weather in Philly. GoongGong (Detsinh) had the same guys in that game so I had a keen eye on the STL @ ARI game. I had Beenie in the flex, and I knew I needed at least 15 from him to have a shot. It’s been frustrating the past few weeks watching Hightower vulture Beenie TDs. I hate me some Hightower. My brother knew what I needed and he texted me ‘We need a Beenie TD’. Beenie scored like a minute later late in that game, and it was huge for me. I jumped up and almost took out my own laptop. I had to go outside because I got so pumped. Then my brother texted me ‘We need a Vernon TD’ and sure enough a few minutes later, Vernon popped one in. I still don’t know if that was a TD, as it appeared Alex Smith crossed the line as he threw it. I think at that point I was in 5th place and climbing fast. Another McNabb TD throw and some more yards and I had moved up to 3rd. I know allot of the 15 had Philly’s D, so I wanted DEN to score, but I needed Philly to win because that meant MIN would be playing for play-off positioning on MNF against my Bears. Stan came over and saw that I was in the mix and wished me luck. That felt good, because it made me feel like it was official that I had a shot at the title. I think that last Akers FG pushed me into 4th but only by a point. I trailed GoongGong by about 10 going into the late game. He had Romo & Austin so I figured best case scenario for me was that they would combine for about 25, putting me down by 35.
I was still exhausted and we had a 8:30 dinner reservation so we went back up to the room to rest up before dinner. I couldn’t sleep knowing there was a game going on, and housekeeping came by for their usual 7:00PM chocolate offering. I checked the box score on my phone and with a few minutes left in the first half Romo had done little (1 TD to Williams) and Austin had 11 yards. The DAL D was pitching a shut-out so it was setting up for a run fest in the 2nd half. They continued to throw late in that game and I was getting sick knowing that every point would have been huge. The wife passed out, so we never made it to dinner. I decided to grab some food downstairs and call it a night.
I woke up early Monday, got room service on the horn and had a nice relaxing breakfast. I was psyched for the MNF game. We went down to a bar to play some video poker and asked for a good morning drink…a few long islands later, the wife was off to the Venetian to shop and I went back up to the room to chill. We had a pre-game party in the poker room and we were cleaning up. It started to get ugly when some fish caught on me so we headed to the MNF party. I had a feeling my Bears were going to disappoint me like they have done all year. They showed up for the game and held AP in check. It's been a frustrating year for Bears fas, I knew they would screw me. The arrow is pointing down on my Bears, and they are at least two years away from contending for anything. It's gonna be tough to get by the Packers for a few years. I did need the Bears to score some points as the NYTCxpress team was 9 points behind me and had AP and the MIN D. Another of the final 15 (Joel? Boom / Dynamite team) had Favre, and he's from a small town, next to the small town (Dyer, IN) I grew up in. We were rooting for each other so we were hoping for some nice screen yards and TDs.
The food was fantastic and the drinks were flowing. I made my lucky salsa the day I left home so it was getting ripe and was ready to rock. My Bears were all over AP and Favre in the 1st half and Detsinh and his brothers were feeling good and celebrating right behind me. The rest of the guys were wearing their ffoc polos and I didn’t realize I was supposed to wear mine, so at half time I sent the wife up to the room to snag it for me. AP started ripping off some runs in the 3rd quarter, then he punched one in. I unbuttoned the top buttons of my dress shirt to let my lucky Juggernaut flag football jersey breathe. The wife came back and I told her ‘AP is coming to life’, if he doesn’t do anything on this drive you have to get the hell out of here. Sure enough, the Vikes go 3 and out and the wife was again banished from the watching the game with me. As soon as she left AP went back to work. He got hit hard by the side-line, popped up and did that did that "I'm gonna run you're ass over" jog back to the huddle.
Here we come. I walked back by the food and got some purple nachos for my lucky salsa. Detsinh and his brothers started getting quieter. The Vikes were driving when Favre threw one to Rice in the endzone. The defender absolutely mugged him and they had it 1st and goal from the one, AP country. AP punched it in and I was down by about 16 points. It was a longshot, but not impossible, especially if we go to overtime. I'm down about 12 points and the game’s on the line. MIN has it 4th and goal from the Bears 6 with 16 seconds left. Old Man Favre gets it done with a TD to Rice, and we go to OT.
It was time to bring out the big guns so I fully exposed the Juggernaut shirt and got me some more purple chips. Detsinh and his bros heard the footsteps. I’m now hammered off an intoxicating mix of vodka redbulls, adrenaline, emotion, lucky salsa, purple chips and hope. The Bears win the toss and I mistakenly cheer. I’m texting the wife updates and I tell her 2nd looks to be locked up, we are charging hard and we are going to OT. The wife asked me if she should come back and I ask her if she’s out of her fucking mind. The Bears move it down the field and stall at the 30 setting Gould up for a 45 yarder. Gould has been money (78%) all year from 40-49 yards. I know he’s gonna make it, and then he misses it. I exploded out of the room because I couldn’t handle it. I’m 40 yards and a TD away from being a millionaire. After that miss, and everything that has happened to me in the past year, in the past week, with all the good energy I was getting from back home, I really thought it was going to happen. Then the Vikes forget they have one of the best RBs in history and attempt 3 straight passes and net -10 yards including being sacked twice.
The Bears get the ball back and did nothing. I know they are going to feed AP the rock on this drive. My guy Mike G tells me, “I think something special is about to happen, you should tell your wife to come back”. I trust his instincts and tell him to call her. On second down Favre drops back, dumps it off to AP, and he’s loose in the open field. I see Mike hang up after talking to my wife and Hunter Hillemeyer strips AP from behind. Fumble, Bears ball, Bears win.
Sure, I was disappointed I came close, but I felt great that I made a serious run at it, and still got a nice chunk of change. I had a good line-up, and made some good decisions. My kicker was the only mistake I made, and that wouldn’t have mattered anyway. The wife got back to the room, just in time to see Shane helping Detsinh into his new coat. She was more disappointed then I was, because she was hoping to retire and stay home and be a full-time mommy. Detsinh gave a touching speech, and generously offered to buy the final 15 a team for next year. He also bought us all a round of drinks at the bar and we hung out for a bit.
We had a great time, met some interesting people, and I had some very interesting conversations with some heavy hitters in the business. If by a series of terrible flukes I don't make it back next year via the top15, I will likely throw down on some type of Bellagio Bracket action. I do hope it will be called the MGM Bracket however. Thanks again to the final 15, Fanball, and Stan for making the event a great experience. It's tough to find a competition where you can turn a small entry fee, some research and good management into a pile of cash. I feel very fortunate that I will be able to do some good things for my family with our winnings. I think I'm going to start a sister blog for my non-football rants, so sign up as a follower or check back in the next few weeks if you're interested.
Enjoy the off-season, I'll see you fools in the draft room.
Team Juggernaut
