All Ugly Team

There’s a large contingent of mouth breathers that still believe Obama is a Muslim assassin that wasn’t born in this country. They stomped their feet and demanded to see his birth certificate. I say the real search should be for Chris Hovan’s birth certificate. I am convinced he is some ½ hog ½ man type creature that was created at some kind of Dr. Moreau's island operation.

Chris Hoavn





Yikes! I hope you can handle a close-up. "I saw him! I saw the Pigman Jerry".







Martin Gramatica

Everyteam needs a kicker, and you could do a whole piece on ugly kickers.I think you can pick either of the flying Granaitca brothers to lead the group.







Mark Gastineau


I know the 80’s weren’t good to allot of us, especially when we stepped up the barber’s chair and said “Hey, make me look like a big ugly poodle.” I think Mark Gastineau takes the cake. A real stroke, he's one of the originators of the ‘I just jumped on the pile and recorded ½ an assisted sack’ dance. If by some chance of fate you are ever tempted by Bridgette Neilson, remember ‘Gas’ had her, then Rocky, then Flava Flav. That’s not a list you want your name on.





Dwayne Rudd
Ok, I know Dwayne's not that ugly, but I've always hated his ass, so he gets a nod. Most Bears fans will always remember Dwayne for heckling a would be tackler and putting the ball in his face as he ran backwards into the endzone on an interception return. He is the only player in NFL history to cost his team a game for prematurely celebrating by taking off his helmet and showing the world his shame. Dwaye, this ugly mug's for you.



AJ Hawk
Ok, this is the last time I mess with the Hawkster, at least for this week. Do an image search for AJ Hawk and you'll find some fun stuff. Here are a few:



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I don't know how big the truck full of cash was that Under Armour backed up to his crib, but wow, let that lil' guy breathe.